For my friends, mom, bro and kuhen..Of all the lies i've told.

i wanna come clean.

As much as i hate to admit this, i finally feel the pinch of my dad not being here. Saying that i feel lonely seems so fucked up but yet that's how i've been feeling more and more each day every since my dad moved to Kedah. He's only back two days in a month. It's only me,mom and my bro at home and that doesn't even feel like anything because half the time i'm either getting yelled at or condemned. It's fine actually, i'm gettin used to it each day so go ahead and continue it. Kuhen you ignore me because youfeel that the more you talk to me, things would get bad, fine. do so. I never told anyone of my friends about this because they do have things of their own to worry about and having to have my problem to listen to might just complicate things so yeah, i didn't tell you guys.

When am in school, things seem so good you know. I really like being in school despite all the bitching, and hating and drama. It's fine, i can handle it but this that i have to go home too every single day, is getting harder. Sha, Kuhen.. you guys must know all the excuses and reasons i've given sometimes to tell ya'll what's up, well it's all a lie. I did that for the attention from you guys because i was hoping from that you guys would've said something..that could change my perception about this whole matter.. Sounds like a stupid 10 year old? maybe i am inside. I'm sorry i put you guys through that.

and now, i'm coming clean about that. So you see me moody in school or whatver, don't assume that 'oh she being such a bitch again she just wants to be a drama queen', because i'm not that kind of person. You wanna talk bad about me go ahead, i dont mind because i do it too. So, there's no guilt or anything.

If you guys are gonna say in time things are gonna get better, your not the only one going through this.. we all have issues and all that bullshit, i already know that so don't waste your time. I bet there's millions of people going through shit worst than me. I get it. but that doesn't mean i'm not allow to write how i feel unless i'm dying.

so yeah. that's it.